But fifty feels important.
Like it needed to be marked.
I’ve felt the energy building for something very powerful.
Today, my birthday, it revealed itself.
Fifty will be the decade I truly let go of other people’s opinions.
I believe they will become invisible to me.
Not real at all.
This is easily done, once I decide to do it,
Because other people’s opinions only exist in their minds,
Which makes them completely unreal to my mind,
Unless I decide to seek them out and pay attention to them.
But, I digress, back to me!!!
At dinner tonight
(oh how I looooove the fuss Auberge du Pommier made of me and my family!)
my youngest daughter said
“Mommy I feel like from 45 you’ve gone backwards
so now you’re more like 40”
And she’s right. I feel it too.
At 45, I learned the tools to effortlessly and joyfully shed almost 60 pounds
More importantly, I have shed ten times that in emotional baggage.
After a decade of looking for peace in other people,
like energy healers, yogis, and fellow seekers,
I discovered that what I was seeking resided within me.
Had always been there.
I had to go through many rings of fire to find it.
And I learned how to do the hard work of staying with myself
During excruciating emotional pain and intense joy (which is often just as hard)
To get there.
It’s no wonder I look and feel younger at 50 than I did at 40.
And now I sense a whole other transformation coming.
I’m moving beyond my conditioning to my authentic self.
She operates based on her values and inner guidance.
And allows others to operate, undisturbed and unjudged, on their own compass.
She understands that her freedom,
and what is best for her,
will ultimately be best for all concerned.
It’s already begun.
Today at lunch with my husband, parents and sister,
A singer arrived to serenade me with lyrics written just for me
to the tune of the song from my first dance!
It was a small, quiet cafe – only two other parties,
Until my serenader arrived,
and sang, and sang,
channeling Frank Sinatra and Elvis to entice my mom and my sister to join in.
After, my mom said it was lucky that the other parties didn’t mind.
I was quite surprised when she mentioned this.
I hadn’t even noticed that anyone else was there.
During the thoughtful and touching performance, just for me,
I opened to the whole experience –
The love shining from my husband as I enjoyed it
The twinkle in my mom’s eyes as she joined in.
We were all that existed.
This is how my fifties will be.
I will live in the love.
The intensity of the moment.
I will act and react from my deepest truth.
And you, my cherished readers, who have shared much of my journey over the past years, are invited to accompany me on this adventure.
Three years ago, during a writing class,
I vowed to share my truth on this blog with you.
Sometimes, when I haven’t yet found my truth,
You don’t hear from me for a while.
Rather that than betray the honour you give me by reading my posts.
I shine with anticipation of what further truths I will discover to share with you
As I delve closer and closer to my authentic self
With all the gifts she has to share.
I would love to hear from you – what decade of life are you in and how would you characterize your experience of it? Click here to let me know. xo