My last blog struck a chord.
I got tons of emails – women all over the world telling my they are sad AND amazing.
Choosing to be amazing no matter what.
Here’s an even harder one for you:
I gained weight over the past few months.
It makes a difference.
I feel heavier. Wider. Clothes are tight.
I am choosing to be amazing.
A lot of my identity rests on being thin.
I’m the weight loss coach who lost a lot of weight without a moment of deprivation
All the while increasing my sense of peace and joy.
I like it. This identity.
I really like my thin energetic and toned body.
That fits into size 6 clothes, and sometimes even size 4.
Those clothes are a bit more snug.
I know why.
I’ve been choosing fuel foods that are not of the highest quality for my body.
More carbs. Lots more. My body doesn’t process carbs as well as it processes my usual fuel of fruits and veggies and tofu and nuts.
I’ve been opening up a lot.
Lots of personal development.
Learning to be real, vulnerable, intimate.
Even when it’s scary. Uncharted. Brand new.
And it is scary.
As well as infinitely expansive, rewarding and indescribably worth it.
I feel more grounded when I eat heavier foods.
I thought I was over this.
But I have discovered that I’m not.
For a few weeks I reverted to some old thoughts, about how I should lose weight, journal my food meticulously, and be really conscious about eating only one Joy eat a day.
And that felt constricting.
While I’m expanding.
I’m choosing this body for now.
It’s the perfect body for this part of my journey toward my highest self.
I love that I choose my weight every day.
I know exactly how to weigh 138.
And I know how to weigh 145.
And way above and way below.
And I also choose to consider myself extremely amazing.
As an eternal quality, completely unrelated to my body or any part of my appearance.
My clients protest that it’s easy for me at my weight.
How can they be amazing at 190? 205? 178?
I tell them I can always show them someone who would think they were beyond amazing if only they weighed 190 or 205 or 178.
And I know many women who would think they were obese at my thinnest weight of 138.
So it has nothing to do with the body you’re inhabiting.
It has to do with what you’re choosing to think about that body.
I’m choosing Amazing. Awesome. Perfect.