I danced while no one else was dancing.
OK. I danced with two friends.
At a party of 40 people.
Until last night, I was a person who only danced when everyone was dancing.
I was always mesmerized by women who get up and dance at concerts or parties,
Without making sure that other people were dancing before.
I was awed and delighted by them.
I was tempted to join them.
But my belief that I can’t separated me from them and the possibility of this joy.
Last night, I was at my friend Marda’s 40th birthday party,
marvelling at my effervescent friend Jen dancing up and down the garden all on her own.
I watched her and thought “one day I am going to do that.”
As I was saying goodbye to Marda,
Jen ran up to get her to come and dance.
I said “good for you guys, one day I will do that too”.
And then I heard myself say to myself “or this day?”
I told Jen I was about to break a personal barrier,
and she gave me the key:
“dance like no one is watching”
I could do that?
Dance like no one is watching?
But they’re all there.
That was the worry behind my barrier.
I thought they would all be watching.
What if no one was watching?
And we did.
Three of us.
And who knows if they watched or didn’t.
I was having way too much fun to care.
P.S. no alcohol. not one drop.