So don’t go, I said.
But I want to go.
I love talking to them and catching up with them.
I don’t want them to take the bus and get home late.
Emotion as she’s telling me this. Love and joy.
Oh, so you love getting them, I said.
You’re choosing to do this.
The problem is not the drive.
The problem is that you’re telling yourself you don’t want to do it.
The problem is that you’re lying to yourself.
Which feels ick.
And, if you’re an emotional eater like me, ick leads to unnoticed and uncontrolled eating.
Her friend suggested that she hide food in the back seat for her kids,
where she can’t reach it while she’s driving.
But we don’t have to trick ourselves
Or hide food from ourselves.
We’re conscious adults who can learn an easier way.
Try this tomorrow, I suggested:
Tell yourself “I love to fetch my kids from school”
Only if it’s true.
I saw her the next day.
I did it, she said, and I didn’t eat.
That’s how easy it is to change your mind.
Decide to see the situation in a way that feels better to you.
How will you know?
You have an built-in lie detector: your feelings.
If the thought feels resistant, it’s a lie and it won’t work
If it feels better, it means it’s true for you, and it will work.
Her thought may not work for every mom who’s doing what she does.
It may be too extreme, if they really don’t love to do it.
It only worked for this mom because the thought made her happy, so we know it’s true.
Another mom may prefer “food won’t make me feel better”
Or “It’s OK to feel frustrated”.
It doesn’t matter how you choose to think about it.
What matters is that your thinking moves you away from the compulsion to eat.
You feel better so the compulsion doesn’t surface.
And this is how you lose weight
Without dieting, deprivation or will power.