What would you achieve if you gave yourself no out?

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Three weeks to my half marathon!!!
(In case you missed the news, I’m doing a half marathon in Miami soon for a charity that is close to my heart.)

THANK YOU to all of you who sponsored me – Ken and I reached our target of $10,000 for Chai Lifeline!
Along the way, friends have contacted me to  tell me how Chai Lifeline saved their lives (emotionally and spiritually), or people they were close to, while doctors were working to save the lives of their children.
We’re so inspired by their stories of love, caring, and connection that we want to surpass our goal, so this week, I’ve upgraded my Coaching for Charity offer to you – I’m now guaranteeing coaching packages to thank you for your donation. Click here for details.
That pic up there of my family – those four kids are the reason that Chai Lifeline means so much to me. Read here to find out all the ways they help.

OK. What does this have to do with the topic of my blog today?

This.

I am hating my training.
Seriously.
You know I love to move. All movement thrills me, and the more challenging, the more exciting to me.
But this.
Walking and running long distances?
Often inside on my treadmill?
Even with Meredith and Alex from Greys’ (I would NOT survive if Season 13 hadn’t come out on itunes. No lie.) to keep me company?
14km – two hours. On a treadmill (snowy and icy here in Toronto).
My sister called in the middle and I sowre and told her I wanted to shoot myself.
I never swear when I talk to my sister.

I do not talk like this.
Because I know, and I teach, that everything we do is because we want to do it.
So there is no point in complaining about it, right?

OK. So usually if I hated a form of exercise, I would just stop doing it and find another one.
I prefer classes because then all I have to do is get there and I can piggyback on the teacher’s energy.
Here – it’s all me.
I can’t even find friends to walk with me if I do go outside because it’s too cold.

The thing is. I’m doing it.
I have given myself no out.
My friends, family, clients and readers are supporting me and trusting me to do this half marathon for Chai Lifeline, and so I’m all in.

It’s really fascinating to me to watch this in myself,
because I usually give up very quickly if I don’t like something.
I know I’ll always find something else that excites me.
And I get bored very easily with ‘sameness’ (like treadmills. for two hours.)

So here’s my discovery, that I want to share with you:
Yesterday, the weather was nice enough for outside training,  and my schedule said it was a  5k walk day.
Instead, I ran it.
I shaved 1.5minutes off my time.
Without trying or aiming to.

I would never have aimed for this because I didn’t think I was capable of it.

If I had given myself an out, I would never have discovered that my body is able to run farther and faster than I thought possible.

After, I felt elated, exhilarated, proud.

Which got me to thinking about the brilliant women I work with.
Their goals are either to lose weight permanently or to build their business.
Both of these goals are self-determined, and self-measured.
They can give themselves an out any time they want to.
And they do, as do I, whenever it feels too hard.

So for this week, I want to offer you this to ponder:
Your goal. The big one.
What would you do differently this week if you had no out?

What if I promised to donate $1000,000 to your favourite charity when you reached your natural weight?
What if I were going to buy you your dream house when you land your first client?
What if your child’s college tuition would be fully funded (all expenses) if you worked out every day for a year?

Think about it.
It really changes things.
Please email me and tell me what your goal is, and what would change for you if you gave yourself no out.

And please visit my fundraising page – any donation at all will make a huge difference, and, if you want to explore this topic with me privately, get a free coaching package while you’re there!

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Posted in freedom, marathon | Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Last chance to lose weight and create your future!!!!

A quick email to remind you that today is your last opportunity to sign up for my mindbodysoul cleanse class! We’re going to be cleaning our bodies AND becoming future focused so we create our own future instead of it happening to us.

The group is already having amazing conversations about the drama we create in our minds around food, especially the week before a cleanse! We’re learning so much about ourselves and how we think, which affects what we do!

We start tomorrow, and I have one spot left. I need to talk to you later today or early tomorrow before class, which is noon EDT. Registration closes once class begins as I want our group to feel cohesive and safe, so this is your last chance to join!!

Email me now  if you want in – I promise you won’t regret it – if you’ve taken one of my classes before you know I over deliver on my time and energy and commitment to you!

Posted in freedom

What does your future look like?

Hand holding eco light bulb on blue skyI’ve been in California training new coaches this week.
We talked a lot about focusing on the future,
And how powerful that is.

Most of us are past-focused.
We spend a lot of time thinking and talking about the past,
And how different we/our lives would be if our past had been different.
There’s no end to this because, of course, no matter how much we argue with it,
the story never changes.
And we never get to feel better.

I like to think that the past happened exactly as it was meant to happen.

All of it.

It’s not always easy to do, especially when really hard things happen,
like losing someone you really love earlier than you think was fair.
So I don’t try to figure out why it was supposed to happen.
And I don’t try to tell myself it was for the best.
Just that it was clearly meant to be this way.
How do I know?
Because it did.
No further explanation needed, because if I try to find an explanation, I’m back there again, living in the past and arguing with it.

I find that when I accept that the past happened exactly as it was meant to happen,
It frees me.
It neutralizes the painful parts.
And it allows me to be in the present,
And to focus on my future,
Which is where all possibility lies.

Sometimes, when I’m in the place of acceptance,
I will get insights about why things did happen the way they did,
Which never happens when I’m spinning around in my head with regrets and arguments.

My brain can only focus on one thing at a time successfully
(maybe it’s only me?)
And so it makes sense to me to focus on my future,
Which I can impact and influence,
Rather than my past, which is never going to change.

I love the idea of holding my future in my hands
Imagining what it looks and feels like…
And getting really excited and focused on creating it.

Next Wednesday, I start my new mindbodysoul cleanse class,
and we’re going to be spending a lot of time focusing on the future.
That’s because I want to teach you how to believe in a future that you can create,
No matter what your past has brought you.
It’s going to be a different class this time,
Focusing on our power to affect our lives.
I’m so excited!!!
It starts Wednesday, and I have three spots left, so if you’re interested, please email me now to see if this class is going to be a perfect start to launch you onto your future!!

Posted in weight loss | Tagged , ,

I have a brand new class starting next week!

Hey!

I’ve received so many requests for a mindbodysoul cleanse, so I’m opening a new class next week. It’s last minute, I know, but if it’s perfect timing for you, then we need to talk.

This class is going to be very different – I’m going to do less teaching and much more coaching, so you get the unique and cust0mized tools you need to maintain the amazing gains (and losses) you’ll experience on the cleanse.

I’ve set aside the whole of Monday to talk to you and will keep interviewing until the class is filled. I have four slots left.

All classes will be on the phone, and we’ll have a secret Facebook group for daily support and coaching. Calls will be held Wednesdays @ 12 noon EDT / 9 am PDT, starting June 17th. Cost is $269.

Email me now, and tell me what time you want to talk on Monday!

Bev

Posted in freedom

I’m learning to love my muffin top


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What I love about this life I’ve chosen is that I keep learning.
I’m always observing myself and figuring out how my thoughts influence my experience.

I love this idea:
It’s not what happens that affects us,
It’s what we think about what happened that affects us. 

This week, what’s happened is muffin top.
You know that spillage of fat over your pants?
I don’t remember having it before.
Maybe I did and didn’t notice,
But I think it’s something new on my body.
Not from gaining weight,
It’s just there now.

I went clothes shopping this week
(so much fun!!!)
And I noticed myself thinking that I can’t buy anything that shows my muffin top.
As if it were a true fact.

But I really wanted this pair of pants.
I’ve been looking for them for a long time,
and there they were.
Perfect size, fabric, fun and flirty.
Except.
Muffin top.
Tried on the bigger size – no muffin top but too big everywhere.

Dilemma.

I really wanted them.
I wanted them immediately to wear on the plane the next day.

It took me a while to realize that the only thing stopping me from buying and wearing those pants was a ‘rule’ I had made up that said “muffin tops are forbidden”.
I could have mistakenly believed that I couldn’t wear these pants because they caused muffin top.
But that would not have been true.
Many people wear pants that show their muffin tops every day, right?
So the “forbidden” rule applies only to people who think that they should be forbidden.

I loved this realization because now I had a choice.

Keep the rule and ditch the pants,
Or ditch the rule and wear whatever I want.

So I did.

Bought the pants,
Got my lovely teenage daughter’s approval,
And here I am on the plane in my superbly comfy and fun pants.
Feeling quite spiffy if I say so myself.

What are you holding back from just because you think it’s forbidden?

Schedule a free laser mini session and I’ll help you see that it’s just your thinking that’s holding you back. That forbidden thing? You can allow it if you want to, and I can show you how.

Posted in freedom

You are loved

mother with her little

Three of my clients are struggling this week.
Major life changing decisions to make,
Enormous regrets about actions that can’t be undone,
Suspicions that they are too afraid to confirm.

Me too.
Some uncertainty.
Confronting something hard.
Making a decision I wish I didn’t have to make.

Robyn told me she wishes she would get a sign from God that she is doing the right thing.
She wants a spiritual experience that will confirm what she knows to be true.
She knows what it will feel like. She’s experienced it before.

I told her that we don’t get permission when we’re adults.
We make the decisions we make, and we get the good with the bad.
Every time.

And yet I know what she means.
We do get signs, messages, knowings.
The thing is that we can’t order them up.
And when our head is full of chatter, worries, projections, self-abuse,
It’s hard to catch them.

This week, I was in a deeply relaxed state
And these words, came into me
“You will get through this”
“You must trust”
“You are loved”.

I know it was my mother, who I lost just over a year ago.
How do I know?
I sensed her, unmistakably.
And I felt immediate comfort.

Whenever my mind wants to go to worry again,
I remind myself of these words, and that comfort is available to me instantly.

It doesn’t matter how you interpret what I heard – depending on your beliefs, you could choose to see this as a message from God, an angel, random thoughts, or my mind making it all up.
I personally like the idea that I am being taken care of by forces bigger than me that I can’t see. And that my mother is looking out for me.
Robyn feels comforted by the idea that God will guide her to the best decision for her.

I don’t think we can depend on clear messages, though.
Because if we search too hard, we may miss the soft subtle signs that are always there. What if it we don’t need to receive an explicit message?
What if it were always true?

I believe that these messages apply equally to all of us.
To my clients who are struggling, to you and to me.

You will get through this.
Trust.
You are loved.

Posted in Trust | Tagged ,

Sometimes weight loss is soooo slow

I’ve decided to lose those extra 5 lbs I’ve gained over the past year or so.
I remember how easy and steady it was when I first lost 60 lbs 5 years ago.
I’m 51 now, and it’s not going the same way this time.
I’m doing exactly the same thing I did then, and I teach my clients now:
Paying close attention to my body and my thoughts,
Eating according to what my body tells me,
Moving my butt every day,
And thinking in a way that serves my desires and well being.

I love how I feel when I eat this way.
I’m energized, well nourished, and all my systems work well.
I’m really in tune with myself and I feel this is how I am supposed to live.
And.
I wish that the number on the scale was coming down more quickly.
It’s like a slow trickle and I would just love a flood right now.
But if I’m feeling so great, why does it matter?

My weight only matters if I make it matter.

When my focus is on the past,
How easy it was last time,
How great I looked in this dress last year,
How unfair it is that I’m not being rewarded for doing all the right things,
I feel disgruntled, and I start researching juice fasts.

When my focus is on the future,
What I’ll do if I never lose this extra weight,
How I’ll look in the photos at my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah in 3 months,
I feel anxious, and I start prowling the pantry.

When I make it all about the number on the scale,
I think about food all the time,
And I start restricting calories, which makes me want to eat everything in sight.

None of this serves my desire to live my fullest and most vibrant life.

It’s so different when I’m focusing on how right this way of eating feels.
Then I feel committed and clear.
I notice that there’s nothing I want to do that I can’t do right now.
At this weight.
Not one thing.
Then I’m here.
In this moment.
And I know that this is where I get to create the body to live my best life in.
This year.
At this age.
At this speed.
I remember that I am whole. Exactly as I am meant to be.
I feel accepted. Valuable. Strong.

And when I feel this way, food holds no interest for me, other than as a means to satisfy physical hunger.

This is how real, permanent, life-changing weight loss happens.

Next time you want your weight loss to be quicker
(you know who you are), ask yourself:
What exactly is this extra weight preventing me from doing right now?
Email me your answer, and we’ll set up a free laser-focused mini-session so I can prove you wrong 🙂

Posted in lose weight, weight, weight loss | Tagged , , , ,

What do you really really want?

Sweet chocolate. Selected focus on man in green shirt

I really love my job!
And I love it even more when I get emails like this one from Roberta*

Weekend was really good. Went to a movie Sat night and even though my husband was chomping away on his popcorn, I just stuck to my cut up apple and didn’t even have a kernel. I was going to have some, but I changed my mind. I sang myself the Spice Girls song: ‘Tell me what you want, what you really really want…’ and I changed my mind. I made myself a small salad later and I was fine.
Today I was down a pound on the scale, so I’m thrilled!

Roberta has started her weight loss journey with a mindbodysoul cleanse,
so she’s only eating fruits and veggies this week.
She knows she can have popcorn any time,
but for now she’s choosing not to have it.
Because she knows what she really really wants.
She wants to be thin.
She wants to reset her connection to her body’s wisdom.
She wants to kickstart her weight loss.
The immediate desire for popcorn is no match for this deep desire.

It’s so powerful when we remind ourselves what we want.
What we really really want.

This morning, I talked to Lavinia*, who told me that she wants chili french fries. Every night.
She tries to resist this desire, but it becomes an urge, it starts to feel like a need, and she usually gives in and eats them.

I asked her what she really wants? The fries, she said, thinking I didn’t hear her.
But tell me what you really really want? I sang (I’ll spare you the audio).
I want to be thin.
I want peace.

I remember this conflict when I was struggling with my weight.
Desperately wanting to be thin.
Desperately wanting to feel in control of my eating.
Desperately wanting this battle to be over.
Fighting so hard, and losing almost every time.

Does this sound familiar?

Try this next time:
Stop fighting. You can’t win when you’re fighting yourself.

When you’re in the midst of an urge to eat food that won’t get you the result you really want, don’t try to reason with that urge, or talk yourself out of it. It will just get stronger, until you give in.
Think of a toddler who wants you to get her something while you’re on the phone – the more you try to push them away, the louder and more persistent you get, right? Our urges are like that.
That urge is your inner toddler.

Do this instead:
Take your mind elsewhere.
Ask yourself what you really really want (feel free to serenade yourself Spice girl style!).
Remind yourself what that is.
Thin.
Peace.
Control.

If you believe that this is possible for you, the fries or popcorn become irrelevant.
It’s like giving your toddler a hug – instant calm – your attention was what she really really  wanted.

If you don’t believe you can have what you want, then I highly recommend you get some coaching, because that belief will trip you up every time. More on that next week.

*not their real names of course, I’m a vault when it comes to client details.

Posted in weight loss | Tagged , , , ,

What to do after you overeat.

I'm full. Greedy eaterIf you want to avoid gaining weight,
Don’t eat again until you’re hungry.

It’s that simple.

The minute you notice that you’re eating and you’re not hungry.
Stop.
Note where you are on the hunger scale.
And wait until you’re at -2 (slightly hungry) to eat again.
This may only be tomorrow, or many hours later, so you have to be willing to skip a meal that you usually eat.

It’s worth it because it’s entirely possible to not gain weight from one overeat.
Thin women overeat sometimes.
And they maintain their weight by simply not eating again until they are hungry.

It makes sense, doesn’t it?
Even if you want to talk about calories (which I usually don’t):
Let’s say you eat 500 calories more than your body required during your overeat.
Or even 1000.
I predict you won’t be hungry for a while.
At least one meal.
If your overeat was late at night, you’ll probably wake up and still feel full.
Follow my advice – don’t eat breakfast, even though the experts say you must.
Today, your body is telling you you mustn’t.
It’s still processing what you ate last night and it doesn’t need more fuel right now.
So if you do the math, that skipped meal will equal about the excess calories of what you ate.

In the end, its a wash.
And your weight loss plan is still on track.

Easy huh?

In my experience, we never gain weight from one overeat.

Here’s the reason that overeating leads to weight gain:
We tell ourselves that it’s over.
We’re off the wagon.
We’ve lost control.
We’re never going to be able to do this.
We have no will power. No discipline.

These critical thoughts make us feel despair and hopeless.
And, if your go-to when you feel despair or hopelessness is food…
You can see where I’m going.
More overeating.
To more self-abusive thinking.
To more hopelessness and despair.
And even more overeating.

It’s this cycle that causes you to gain weight.
Not that one overeat.

The good news is that you can stop this cycle
Because you’re the one who started it.
With your thinking.

Don’t make that overeat be a reflection of who you are.
Just tell yourself that you are not going to eat again until you’re hungry.
Don’t do this to punish or restrict yourself.
Do this to take care of yourself. Honour your body.
Tell yourself “taking care of me means I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied’.
‘I’m going to wait until I’m hungry until I eat again’.
‘Everyone overeats sometimes’ (this is true – most naturally thin people overeat sometimes too, then they do exactly what I’m telling you to do)

If you find yourself overeating regularly, and often, you may want to consider whether you’ve made food rules that are feeling too restrictive. I have found that ditching your diet rules  leads to more even controlled eating, and easy, drama-free weight gain.

If you find you can’t stop eating,  email me to see whether you’re a candidate for my weight loss coaching program – I can help you stop. Forever. It’s hard work. And it’s so worth it.

Posted in weight loss | Tagged , , , , ,

Ditch the rules if you want to lose weight

Break The Rules Concept

Food rules prevent us from losing weight.
Yes, that includes all the rules we’ve read or heard that tell us what we must or mustn’t do in order to lose weight.
Especially those ones.

You have to give them up, throw them out the window, or flush them down the toilet,
If you want to be permanently and effortlessly thin.

Here’s why:
Every time you restrict yourself when it comes to food
You will (eventually) overeat.
Maybe not on the exact food you were ruling undesirable.
But you will binge.
And you will probably blame it on your own weakness or lack of discipline.

But I have such good news for you.
That binge was a direct result of your rule-following.

Research proves it time and again.
Even one ‘healthy eating guidelines diet’ turned a bunch of normal-weight men into binge/restricters.
And I’m guessing you’ve been on more than one diet, and it’s been more extreme than ‘healthy eating guidelines’.

Now I’m not talking about foods you don’t like, or foods that make you feel unwell, or foods that you are medically prescribed to avoid.
I’m talking about foods you tell yourself you mustn’t eat because they will make you gain weight.
Or foods you tell yourself you must eat because they will help you lose weight.
You may not even be aware of these rules.
You may just think it’s common sense.
Or science.

I understand.
I’ve been on the extreme of these rules.
I called it educated decision-making based on endless reading and research.
Food combining.
Gluten free.
No dairy.

Problem is, sometimes I just wanted a sandwich. On real bread.
Or a cappuccino. With real milk.

And I discovered that if I don’t have it because I have told myself some version of ‘it’s against the rules’, then without doubt, I am going to overeat later.
It may take a while.
Or it may be that night.
But it’s going to happen.

Tune into your luscious body for a moment:
How do you feel when you read “You must avoid gluten because it’s not healthy for you”
Name the emotion that comes up for you.
Maybe you feel rigid, tight, deprived, anxious, scared, sad, or annoyed?
Now how do you feel when you read “Your body is wise, and will let you know what foods are healthy for you. All you have to do is listen.”
Name that emotion.
My clients will report feeling instantly calmer and  clearer.

Why does this matter?
Emotional eaters tend to overeat when they feel rigid, tight, deprived, anxious, scared, sad, or annoyed.
So if that’s how food rules makes them feel,
then the food rules are making them fat.

The answer?
Ditch the rules.
Trust your body.
It will tell you what you should be eating, and when.
And whether gluten or dairy is healthy for you or not.

I know this can be scary, and hard.
Especially if you’ve been ignoring your body’s whispers for so long.
But you may decide it’s worth a try,
if you are finding that you aren’t losing weight permanently by trying to follow the rules.

Why not try it for one week?
You can always pick up the rulebook next week if it’s not working.

Here’s all you have to do:

  1. Wait until you’re physically hungry before you eat.
  2. Put your hand on your stomach and ask ‘what do I want to eat now?’
  3. Imagine how you’re going to feel after eating it.
  4. If that matches the feeling you’re after, go ahead and enjoy it.
  5. Pay close attention to your body’s whisper of “enough”, and stop eating.
  6. Repeat throughout the day.

Let me know how your experiment goes.
And if you want some support while you’re ditching your rules and learning to hear your body’s whispers,  email me to set up a free mini laser focused coaching session!

Posted in freedom