In coaching we often ask “what’s your why?” to uncover the reason for our behaviour.
Lately, I’ve been experimenting with “what’s your lie?”
I find that if we begin by identifying the lies we tell ourselves right off the bat
things just open up and take off from there.
I asked the “Seasonalites” (the brave lie-busters in my ‘Season of You’ class)
to list ten lies they tell themselves about why they’re overweight.
They were shocked to discover these:
“I have no idea why I’m at this weight “
“I can’t be accountable to myself”
“If I don’t think about it, it’s not such a problem.”
Nowhere to go if you’re guided by beliefs like this.
No wonder past attempts to lose weight haven’t succeeded.
Now they know.
Now they get to choose.
Here’s what they’re choosing instead:
“I chose this weight” (and now I can choose different)
“Of course I can be accountable to myself” (I am in so many ways)
“My weight is neutral” (it’s only a problem if I say it is)
The daily Food Journal is the best lie-buster in the Universe.
The Sexy Seasonalites are taking the 84 day Challenge.
Our forum is on fire as they compete to post the most journals -
The prize: a free coaching session with me!
To prove that it’s possible in the midst of a busy life,
I committed to post daily with them.
I discovered that I lie to myself too.
- “I don’t fog eat anymore.”
The first day of journaling, I noticed, at least twelve times, that I was about to mindlessly take a bite, a sample, a taste, of something interesting, delicious, or simply, there.
- “I don’t drink caffeine. I treat myself to one decaf soy latte a week.”
My trusty journal shows a daily decaf soy latte. (I think this used to be true, during a particularly healthy phase, but it isn’t anymore, and I hadn’t even noticed).
- ”I exercise almost every day, about 5 – 6 times a week.”
Since the summer, my schedule logs about 3-4 times a week. (Again, was true for a long time, not right now.)
Nothing wrong with caffeine, a few bites here and there, or exercising every second day.
Unless I decide there is.
But here’s the thing:
I can’t decide how I think about it
Until l tell the truth about it.
Until I own it.
The Seasonalites felt great relief when they exposed their lies.
They feel like they’ve opened a door.
And so do I.
I love that I am giving myself permission to not be so healthy, so perfect.
And I love that, no matter how much truth-telling I do, there’s always more to find.
Tell me, what’s your lie?
And your why?